It feels so great to walk down the street and not worry that somebody may want to talk to you and you won’t be able to, because there is only one thing on your mind, because you feel you have nothing interesting to say, because you’re terrified of being judged.
Having fun! It’s impossible to have fun when you have an eating disorder. Negative thoughts plague everything you do and they hurt! There is nothing like feeling truly free!
Confidence! It feels so good to be confident just because you are you. No restrictions, no conditions, just complete acceptance of yourself.
Love. When the eating disorder is behind you, you are able to connect in ways you never could before. Nobody can really give or accept love when they are trapped in a cocoon of misery. Learning to love yourself is the first step. Then you will be able to truly accept the love of others.
Living by your own rules. When we have an eating disorder or even depression, we are living by external rules – rules created by others. Those rules aren’t real…they are made by others, who want control. A good friend of mine is well known for saying ‘My way is the only way.’ He is right. His way is the only way for him, my way is the only way for me. Your way is the only way for you. Think about how many times you use the word ‘should,’ how many actions you make from a sense of duty. There is no need and in so doing you are forcing yourself to be less than you, harming both yourself and others. This quote by Marianne Williamson sums it up for me:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
There will always be those who want to control you. There will always be those who want you to feel less than you because they don’t want to realize their own potential. Set yourself free. Live the rest of your life on your terms. Imagine that you live on a desert island where nobody can see you, criticize or control you…who would you be? What would you do…?