Get my book for free! One day only starting from midnight tonight

To celebrate the launch of my book – I beat my eating disorder – You can too! I am offering it free for 12 hours starting tonight at midnight.

If you are suffering from any type of eating disorder grab a copy and give it a go. I’m here to work with you if you need support whilst working with it.

If you like it, I’d greatly appreciate it if you’d write a quick review on Amazon.

I’d also appreciate any feedback on the book – if you see a way it could be improved or if there’s anything in it that you find difficult to come to terms with, please don’t hesitate to contact me!

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Feeling joy

Yes you can feel joy! I too once believed that this was an impossible experience for me.

For anybody in the throes of an eating disorder and any type of depression, this is the case. That is because fear has taken over and we are concerned only with others opinions of us and not with finding the joy that is always there within us.

The  natural state of being is joy. Watch animals and young children. They are naturally full of joy and exuberance. This is how we can feel all the time if we allow ourselves to.

So what stops us?

It’s simple. When we lack joy it is because we have forgotten how to live in the present moment. When we have a belief about ourselves that is negative we fill ourselves with negative memories of the past and a dread of the future. It is not possible for joy to exist when we are full of regret and fear. In order to rid ourselves of this negativity we need to come to an understanding of reality.

The past does not exist. We can attempt to keep it alive by holding onto memories but that is a not a good choice to make. Your life is like a book. Once you have turned the page, why would you go back to read the last page again? You want to move forward, to find out what happens next. To accelerate to the end is also futile as you will miss out on the whole journey. We are not supposed to know what is going to happen in our future. If we were supposed to know, then we would. The future for everyone consists of what we view as positive and negative experiences but in reality there is no good or bad, only experience. Those experiences that challenge us can be viewed in whichever way we like – as destructive and soul destroying or as opportunities for growth. Everything depends on how we view it.

For example, two men lose their jobs. The first chooses the road of fear. He decides that his life is no longer worth living and begins to drink heavily, pushing his friends and family away. He becomes increasingly scared, angry and bitter and eventually suffers from a breakdown.

The second man sees losing his job as a wonderful opportunity for growth. He was not enjoying his job, and had always dreamed of working for himself, doing something creative. He enrols at college to learn graphic design, finds a new job to fund his learning, eventually qualifies as a designer, sets up his own business and lives the life of his dreams.

This is what is meant by living in the present moment – simply accepting and going with the flow rather than struggling against the natural ebb and flow of life. The next time you are out, watch how a bird flies in the sky. Does it struggle and fight with the wind or does it allow itself to be carried and wait until the moment is right to start using his wings again?

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Healing yourself

Ultimately, only we ourselves can heal ourselves. Some help along the way is good if we can accept the help without becoming dependent on the helper.

When I was suffering from anorexia and bulimia, I suffered from terrible loneliness and a desperation to be ‘close’ to another. In reality what I wanted was to hand over my power to somebody else as I didn’t know how to handle it myself. What I needed, though, was to learn to harness and use my power for the betterment of myself.

When we have lost touch with our souls we operate like a robot, merely acting to please others and this puts us under constant strain.

In order to heal ourselves and find the joy of being in harmony with ourselves the first step is to relax. The first stage of relaxation is to be aware of our breath, honour it and take charge of it. Without breath we are lifeless, and without quality of breath we have no quality of life.

In my book, the correct breathing technique is taught, and once this is mastered you will find that the next stages of healing come easily. The more estranged a person is from his soul, the more shallowly he breathes. This means that he is holding on to carbon dioxide, rather than releasing it and giving it to the trees, who need it for their survival. When we breathe correctly we fill our bodies with life and simultaneously give life to the trees which in turn give it back to us.

When we breathe shallowly we become miserable because we are not at one with our environment and we do not understand our part in nature.

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Parents are able to teach their children only what they themselves believe to be true. Parents with low self esteem are usually concerned with what others think of them more than what they think of themselves. This is passed on to their children mainly by the fact that children unconsciously copy their parents, even if the parents do not overtly encourage them to.

It’s simple really – if a parent believes that he or she is stupid, they will pass this belief on to their children. If parents believe that they are less than others they will pass this on. Even if they are aware of these beliefs but do not work on themselves to change these beliefs, the children will adopt them. It’s impossible to hide, parenting calls for integrity and self improvement.

The energy generated by others is the biggest influencer of all. A parent can attempt to imbue a child with high self esteem by saying all the right things but if the child sees the parent behave in a way that shows his or her own low self esteem it is inevitable that the child will pick up on this and take on the burden himself.

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The more tense we are, the more estranged from ourselves we become. We are not bodies having a spiritual experience, we are souls having a physical experience. For those who are suffering from any type of depression, life has little meaning beyond the physical. Trivialities and dramas seem to be all encompassing and real, whereas for someone who sees life in context – as being only part of a journey that we all share, life is much easier as the little things and even the major things are seen in perspective.

Faith in life, belief in meaning in everything, is crucial to emotional and spiritual health. Without this, we are blowing aimlessly in the wind, susceptible to every passing cloud. To have strength means to be able to put things into perspective, to know that however bad things are, there is a reason for everything, a silver lining to every cloud and that we gain enormous wisdom from every experience if only we allow ourselves to live it fully.

Society and modern living seem to actively divert us away from knowing who we really are, preferring us to wear masks, hide our confusion and fear and get on with pursuing the roles that ‘best fit’ the circumstances we are in. If we refuse to wear the uniform and follow the rules we are deemed unhealthy, often even crazy.

So we allow fear to take over, become swallowed up by the bombardment of media influences, fall for the tricks of education and propaganda, until we completely lose sight of who are we are – the essence of ourselves as spiritual beings.

When we look at the incredulity of the situation we are in – we find ourselves on a ball of rock that spins at 1000 miles an hour in a universe beyond measurement, we can’t help but realise how futile it is to sweat the small stuff.

Check this out – it certainly helps to put things into perspective

When we are in the throes of depression, whether this takes the form of stress, an eating disorder, alcoholism, drug addiction…however we choose to express it is irrelevant really, our world shrinks. How much we weigh or where we will find our next drink or fix seems to become paramount for our survival. We truly feel that but nothing could be further from the truth. We come into this world needing only air to breathe, food to eat, warmth and shelter. We leave needing only the same. Such few resources we actually need for our survival. Yet society would have us believe that we need so much more…status, a perfect body, loads of friends, a great job, big house, etc etc. We fall for it all but how many of us give a thought to the fact that our lives are over in a flash, that we none of us know how much time we have left…how many of us think about what we will think about when we are on our death beds looking back. What would we like to have done with our lives? Are we proud of the way we have lived? These are daily questions for those who are in tune. For those who not only know that our lives in physical bodies are short but really live knowing that…

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